A year ago,we buried a very dear man to our family-our dad in love.
I attended a funeral three days ago-exactly a year later.
I woke up that morning,wore a black dress and headed to the morgue.As I left the house,it occurred to me that I was in the same dress,on the same day a year later,headed to the same morgue only to bury a different person-I thought I has seen coincidences before.
At this funeral,I was reminded of the certainty of death.I was reminded that to live is undetermined,uncertain;but to die,to die is surety.
Up until a year ago,like many of us,I was terrified by this topic,death. Even uttering the word death was a no go zone for me.I couldn't view dead bodies at funerals.Death-fear of the unknown.
When I lost the third very significant man in my life last year,tables turned.I stopped being afraid.The reality of life-quite literally-hit me.We are all going to die.Every day we live above the earth,is a day closer to our bodies being buried under the earth,back to the loam and clay from whence we came.
When you die,people will love you more.They will speak of how you did this and that and the other.How you touched this life and the other.
When you die,hearts will be broken.Questions will be asked.Anger,frustration and confusion may rise.
When you die,humans you do not know will show up.They will come to stand by the ones you have left behind.Those that were close to you but closer to them.These people you do not know will meet you for the first time as you lie in that casket,lifeless.
When you die,grown men will cry.Regrets will haunt people.They will wish they did one thing or the other before you left.They will wish they did not say that thing they said to you.
When you die,a void will be left,and nobody will fill it,because there can never be another you.Perhaps only a replacement,but it can never be you.
When you die,people will hang onto their memories of you.They will go through their pictures,your pictures,videos,your writings,just to find you one more time.An attempt to connect.
When you die,people will throng your home and offer words of encouragement to your loved ones.I hope these same people will remain constant in the lives of your loved ones.
When you die,people will place flowers over you.Flowers that you cannot see,touch or smell.A wise woman I know said,give those flowers to people while they are alive.
As I sat at the funeral,I wondered what would be said about me in my eulogy and tributes.
Did she impact anybody's life?
Was she kind to those around her?
Has the society lost an asset?
Was she a breath of fresh air to those around her?
Did she laugh hard,and love dangerously?
But most significantly,did she complete her purpose?
I may never know what will be said actually,but I know I left that funeral with a different outlook of life.
Death in its certainty makes life so uncertain.
My philosophy remains the same.
I would rather have people surround me in my time of joy and celebration,when I am full of this uncertain thing called life.Graduation ceremonies,weddings,birthday celebrations et al. are not a certainty.You do not know whether you will live to see such occasions.
I would rather that,than have a crowd surround me in time of mourning,when death has visited us in its certainty and taken my loved one.I would rather have you beside me when I can laugh with you rather than when I can only remain lifeless and still in a wooden box.
''Like sands through the hour glass,so are the days of our lives''
No comments:
Post a Comment